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The importance of Self-Esteem & ways to improve it

January 7, 2020
the importance of self-esteem

There’s never been a better time to talk about the importance of Self-Esteem and make actionable steps to improve it.

How often do you put yourself down? Say unkind words to yourself? Have no confidence in yourself?

For most people, this is happening every hour in some capacity.

Perhaps it’s society telling us that being confident in our self-worth comes off as arrogant and egotistical? Or maybe, some time in our past we we’re told off for being too self-assured?

Either way, it’s ruining our mindset and we need to build ourselves up as no one else is going to do it for us.

So in this post, I am going to take you through 8 steps that you can do everyday that will help you build Self-Esteem and Self-Appreciation in no time.


What’s the importance of Self-Esteem?

Did you know that you are special and unique? I mean it!

There is a 400 trillion to 1 chance of you being on this planet, right here, right now. You are the 1!

You’re a big deal. I’m a big deal. We’re all big deals. Yet, we put ourselves down, doubt ourselves, let fear overcome our actions and hardly take time to be the best versions of ourselves we can be.

Remember a scenario or time when you felt great about yourself? What happened? You probably got shit done, made awesome decisions and spent time doing what you wanted and with whom you wanted. You felt unstoppable.

When you feel good, you do amazing things as you believe in your abilities and that you have value. This is the importance of Self-Esteem. When we are on our side, we can do and achieve anything we want and be truly happy in our skin and our life.

Self-Esteem comes from within, it’s the way we think about ourselves. When we have high self-esteem we are naturally more successful, positive and self-confident. When we feel a low self-esteem we think negatively, see no value in ourselves and have low confidence.

So let’s make a pledge that everyday we will be kinder to ourselves, know our worth and try some of the ways below to improve our self-esteem.


8 ways to improve your Self-Esteem

Affirmations

A quick fire way to start building self-esteem is through affirmations.

You repeat a statement over and over until you believe it is true. It’s like a habit, the more you do something the more your brain sees it as easy and a part of you.

I choose affirmations depending on what I am focusing on that month. You can have a few for Self-Esteem and maybe a few more for wealth, career, etc.

A few examples of Self-Esteem Affirmations I have used:

  • I am beautiful inside and out
  • I believe in myself
  • I am enough
  • I am confident

Now that you have an idea of what an affirmation is you can write your own. Have fun with it.

I find the best time to say these are first thing in the morning, I look in the mirror and say each affirmation around 10 times. You could also do it before you leave the house, in your car, even at work. Or listen to them as I fall asleep so that they reach my subconscious level. Wherever you feel comfortable.

I also suggest doing it when you have self-limiting thoughts and when you are about to do something that scares you.


Power Body Poses

A few years ago I watched a Ted Talk by Amy Cuddy talking about Body Language and how we hold ourselves directly impacts how we feel about ourselves.

Body language is an extension of our thoughts.

Naturally, when we feel low we tend to make ourselves as small and hidden as possible. However, when we feel good we stand tall with our head up. Since watching it, I have used this tactic whenever I feel down or not worthy.

The wonder woman pose is the perfect pick me up for tackling any situation where you feel uncomfortable. Trust me, you instantly feel more in control, and that you’ve got this or anything else that comes your way.

Our nonverbals govern how we think and feel about ourselves

Amy Cuddy

Watch the 20 minute video below to see the different poses that will increase your self-esteem or hinder it.


Practice Mindfulness

Being in the moment, having an awareness of your thoughts but passing no judgement is Mindfulness in a nutshell.

Practising this everyday can significantly improve your self-esteem as you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings. All of this leads to self-confidence too. Increasing self-esteem leads to improved confidence, they go hand in hand.

Read my Mindfulness Activities for Adults article for easy ideas to incorporate Mindfulness into your life.


Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Surround yourself with positive people

Have you ever noticed that your self-esteem is low around certain people? Perhaps they put you down, are very judgemental or like to bitch about others constantly.

You almost feel on edge around these people and cannot be yourself. However, when you spend time with positive people you can relax and fully enjoy yourself.

As you get older you realise that there are a shit ton of negative and toxic people around who love to drag others down, the sooner you stop hanging out with them, the better your self-esteem will be. Trust me!

Can you think of anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself? If so, it’s time to reevaluate their place in your life. Start by limiting your contact with them and hang out with the people/person that you feel happier around.

Notice the difference in your mindset when you do this. You’ll soon start to see your self-esteem rise.


Do things that make you happy

Our time is valuable and how we choose to spend it directly impacts how we feel.

By doing things that benefit ourself and our feelings, indirectly affects how we feel about ourselves. Saying No to things that aren’t serving your best interest and yes to the things that do, will start you on a journey of increased awareness.

Think about it, when you are happy, you generally feel good about yourself and that plays into your self-esteem. When you start to spend time doing things that you want, you’re making a statement that you know yourself, what you want and what makes you happy.

Again, this is the importance of self-esteem, when you try to improve it, your life will be filled with all the things that make you feel positive and happy.


Self-Reflection to understand your Self-Limiting beliefs

Self-Limiting beliefs are horrible and crop up when we least expect them to.

Grab a pen and paper and take some time to write down all the common daily thoughts and feelings that come up for you. This self-reflection practice will help you to understand your self-limiting beliefs which contribute to low self-esteem.

Now, against those beliefs, change the script. Write down what you want to say to yourself, only kind, loving and positive statements. Even if you don’t believe it yet.

When those self-limiting beliefs surface, let them rise and then fall away, like a wave. Don’t think into them, just be aware. Then say the positive statement you chose. Soon enough, you’ll have changed those self-limiting beliefs into self-loving beliefs.

importance of self love
Photo by Carolyn V on Unsplash

Meditation

If you’ve read any of my other articles, you’ll know I rave about Meditation. I recommend it for everything!

Clearing our mind of inner negative thoughts, helps to stop the vicious cycle that our brains can fall in to.

Unsure about Meditation? Read my article on Meditation Myths, debunking all the myths associated with Meditation and some handy ways to get started.


Acceptance

Finally, you have to love yourself and accept yourself.

Self-Esteem comes from within and you have to believe you are worthy, that you are enough and accept all your strengths and areas of development (which everyone has by the way). Once you truly accept the wonderful YOU, for YOU, I promise you’re Self-Esteem is going to soar.


Let’s recap. Be kind to yourself, ALWAYS. Catch any self-limiting beliefs and change the dialogue. Clear your mind. Spend time around people that LIFT you up. Say your affirmations daily. Only do things that make you HAPPY.

Building Self-Esteem is no overnight fix so please be patient with yourself.

Has this been useful? Will you try any of the tips above? Do you have any other tips that you already use?


Related Reads

9 Confidence Building Books you’ll want in your life

6 of the best Motivational Speeches to watch now

6 Super Easy Mindfulness Activities

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